These are actual ads on a matrimony site. just read this and burst out laughing. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this...
1) i am looking for soft and person with service minded
(err....soft and person? He wants a teddy bear).
2) hi i am looking for partner. tell to you later.
(oh! What a surprise! Shhhh. He’ll tell “to” us later).
3) hi I am looking for a nice paresan sample beautiful co operative sensitive wife................
(I hope he finds a nice paresan)
4) i need homemaker edn caste no bar. iam legaaly divorced living with widowed mother who is getting monthly pension Rs. 10, 000/... four sisters all married living in a rented hose working in the railway
(living in rented HOSE? Poor things!!)
5) i m stock market analyst, i do my self business [analysis & advice ] & for my clients.. since 1991-92 my nature is simple, no any bed habits, believe in god, heard working,
(NO bed habits? I want bed habits. Get lost. And he’s “heard working” too!)
6) Hello, I am simple, spiritual, nice. We speak Haryanvi at home, Hindi. I understand Punjabi but do not speak. I am not into filmy-life. I listen to bhajans/kirtans. I keep life simple. I believe living life is better in family/relatives. I am here looking for a woman one who does not drink alcohol or smoke, non-veg is okay; I have less desire for non-veg. being talkative is okay, but not obnoxious, not money-crazy, one who is traditional yet 'knowledged'.
(Sorry, I am talkative AND obnoxious. But I am also “knowledged”)
7) hi i am malik from spain i luking very nice girl honest
(Really? You luking very nice girl honest? Good on you, mate!)
8) he is a farmer, 150 acres of land, only 2 sisters i married younger yet to be, no other liabilty, he is handsome truely veg.
(He is TRUELY veg. He is a cow.)
9) Also, Passionate doctor, working as a Assistant Surgeon cum Anaesthetist {government servant}. Also serving as NSVT Specialist {consulting}. I am looking for accomodative medico {MD/MS/Diploma/MBBS/BDS/MDS/BAMS} or any other professionally qualified bride.
(Uggggghhhhh, a passionate doctor working as a Surgeon cum Anaesthetist and wanting an “accommodative medico”...ugggggghhhh.....they should censor these posts!!)
10) hi im family living person my marrige life is 11 yers gone then NOW DIVORCE IN PROCESS.
(He needs counselling.)
11) My cousine looking for a good charactred bride with graduation & age 30-35 range looking for partner tell you later.
(Your cousine can look someplace else.)
12) I AM SELF MADE BUSINESS MAN WAS WORKING NOW RUNNING MY OWN MULTIPAL KIND OF BUSSINESES
(MULTIPAL? Sounds cool.)
13) hi i am new this side i dont know how i start but just i want say i am honest man and i have big heart i like honesty and i dont like lie other things we can share over phone i am looking nice girl who know means good life not only make kids i dont like money minded girl respect frist and understand eachothers i am going india visit 4 march 2011 i dont know how long i stay there if any body like my profile and want talk with me most wel come drop me yours phone and emails i can call you but plz only real not time pass
(I like him. Respect “frist” and understand eachothers”. This is the right way ahead).
14) i am searching good lucking smart, beautiful girl.
(Good lucking to you, mate!)
15) very emotional very jovel and understanding religious
(Really? Still emotional and jovel despite the religious?)
16) Honest and simple, prefer who likes cooking and be patient and matured. must be relocatable. Must be clean and organized.
(Oooooh. MUST BE RELOCATABLE. Mustn’t have her @$$ fixed to the floor)
17) i am care and loving person. i am working at paradigm electronics about 10 yrs. parts and service manager in there.
(Parts and service? Sounds VERY interesting. I’m in.)
18) he is fun loving person, easy to mix with. he like to make new friends and traveling. he need someone who dont kick him from back.
(Oh, I’d be HAPPY to kick him from front.)
19) Hi!! I am Cassanova I have completed my Associates degree in Health Sciences.
(Cassanova? Not Cassava-nova?)
20) cool mind and having strong nevers. trust worthy and help ful. i like music, long drive, fishing and cooking games, boating, watching movies
(Strong nevers? NEVER NEVER, not even if you are help ful.)
21) I am a sincer man. as i am working in Jamaica. I love to listen music news and sport and computer.
(Yo soy un hombre sincero...and he listens to “music news” too!)
22) I M AGED DIVORCED PERSON.. AND LOOKING ABOUT 30 TO 40 YEAR WODDOW... OR DIVORCED.. OR LITTLE HANDICAPED.. LADY FOR MARRIAGE...BUT ONLY CANADIAN... OR AUSTRALIAN.. ONLY. ACTUALLY I WANN TO SPEND MY LAST STAGE TIME IN ABROAD.
(What a pity I’m not a WODDOW. I would have applied immediately!)
23) i like to unterstanting person share my feeling. give respect. love every persons. not get angery for simple things. becose we live once in this world. we have to be happy all this time.
(Philosophy teacher)
24) Little religious, exercised spiritura or supernaturals, looking for preety
(He’s an alien)
25) iam a good natured person and i prefer a cooperative wife.
(Really? Cooperative? I thought joint stock company was better.)
26) i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house she should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing her jeans? ahem...)
27) Im very out going and jolly gay.
(Err....that says it ALL.)
