Her heart broke with a louder shatter this time. She dared not make a sound. Shhh...
Be silent, and maybe noone will notice... if you're lucky that is.
He offered to help her. She stared at him, trying to see if he could pick up those pieces and mend them again. Can he?
How I wish you could help, she thought. And then, just for a split second, she found herself in a weak moment. She kept staring at him, trying to find something in him she once believed in as a religion. Why was he not looking at her in the eye? He couldn't. Was he ever such a coward? She suddenly didn't know him anymore. Her gaze, with those silent, numerous questions, that helplessness would be too much for him, maybe. Maybe her eyes would haunt him. He didn't want that. He couldn't help it.
Silently, she walked away and out of the room where the air vibrated with this complication that now held her life at stake. She did not want to look back. No. She didn't have the courage to see that man change. It was raining heavily and she was drenched instantly. She couldn't have cared any less now. Once upon a magical time, he held her world together from falling apart. Once, his deep voice had resonated in her dreams, ridding her of fearful, sleepless nights. His eyes had been loving; his smile had been warm and his arms had been protective. And rains... it was something they both adored. Playing for hours in the rain with not a care of the world around them. They were always so absorbed, always so much fond of each other, that the whole world would fade into the background... She stopped thinking... she had to... she was going crazy. Today... oh today, the man she was leaving behind was someone else. His voice was distant, his arms no longer embraced her, his eyes could not meet hers anymore. Something was amiss; and today, despite being a few inches from each other, they were worlds apart.
The world didn't matter once upon an enchanting moment, when the days were sunny and the nights twinkled. No one had mattered more than him when those days and nights had been filled with his innocent tokens of affection. And she was very much in love. They say love hurts.
Does it? She couldn't believe. He loved her too... deeply.
But today, the man she didn't want to look back at, was definitely someone else.
I don't know where he is anymore! He never went away... he would never leave me. This is just someone else in his skin. He can never hurt me.. no he cannot. A tear fell down her cheek.
How can they say he never cared? What do they know? How can they possibly know how much those little things meant? Do I need to hear it from them? He was my faith in people again and if mere mortals could be worshipped... had it been anyone else but him? No!! They don't know... They don't know how I cherish those memories... those smiles he left with me... that sense of strength he gifted me.. they don't know... no... they don't... he...
She broke down in terrible sobs. The sky weeped with her...
... he's still here with me, in my heart... People stay with you when they die, don't they? He's just lost somewhere from where he cannot return... Does that mean he deserves to be hated by me? No... How can I hate him... how... can... She was crying bitterly. How can I possibly...? She started choking. She had to get a grip on herself. I can't go on like this. She, now, sat on the edge of a foot path and took deep breaths, trying in vain to soothe herself. Slowly and gradually she composed herself.
Today, that man she left behind didn't matter. She knew wherever he was, he still loved her. How couldn't he?
And with these thoughts, she sat on that foot path and decided to bathe in heaven's waters. Finally, it felt as if something had been left loose in her. The chains that seemed to bind her had faded. She smiled after a long time. She could feel him. He was around... inside her.
Now pLaying : NeLLy | Just a DreaM
Thinkin bout us
What we gunna be?
Open my eyes,
it was only just a dream..
