If you've ever been in love with someone who deceived or hurt you, it's hard not to carry that into the next relationship ... and the next ... and the next. It's like it becomes woven into the fabric of who you are.
Does it have to be that way?
It's hard to put our trust in people again after we've been hurt. It seems natural that we'd want to be cautious when we first meet someone. I'm certainly not against taking it slow in the beginning; that's smart because it helps separate lust from love.
And I don't think there's a way to get close to someone without understanding this:
I may get hurt.
If we carry fear of past hurts repeating themselves with new loves, we will always be on guard, and we won't be able to experience the person as our authentic self.
Getting to know someone, sharing who and what we are — and having someone share that with us, makes us incredibly vulnerable. But that's what intimacy does. I'm still going to choose that.
Do you open yourself up to all that a new relationship offers, or do you live in the shadow of those who have hurt you?
And if you feel that someone you're interested in is dumping former relationships' bad mojo on you, what do you do?
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